Some time ago Al Mohler wrote a blog in response to Torry Hansen putting her 7 year old adopted son on plane and sending him back to Russia, the land of his birth. I agree with him that this is a reprehensible thing to do to a child. I sure Torry Hansen was at the end of her rope and felt she had nowhere she could turn for help. However, her response to the situation was not the appropriate Christian response. Dr. Mohler interacted with this news story in his blog post which he concluded with the remark, “When adoption fails — whatever the reason — the Gospel is denied.”
I saw this article when it was orginally posted and have been meaning to interact with it for almost a year and half. I went back to re-read his post and noticed that he added an addendem four days after the original post in which he retracted his comment, “When adoption fails — whatever the reason — the Gospel is denied.” I would like to tip my hat to Dr. Mohler for retracting what I consider to be a dangerous comment. I commend him for writing the addendum to explain why he needed to retract his remark.
The Excogitating Engineer is an adoptive parent and knows many other adoptive parents. There are many situations where adoptions fail due to the choices the child makes. Being adopted is a legal state in which the child becomes part of a new family. However, noboday can force a child to emotionally join the family. When the adopted child refuses to join the family and manifests behaviors that are dangerous to the rest of the family, sometime that child has to be removed. In this situation, the gospel is not denied. In this situation the gospel is actually rejected by the child for the child is offered the opportunity to join the family but he rejects it. It is more a picture of the condition of the hardened human heart that rejects the grace and forgiveness offered by Christ.
So adoption is not the gospel. Adoption is a picture of the gospel. It is offerely freely to some children who accept it and freely join the new family God gives them. Sometimes children reject the adoptive family God gives them. This is a picture of the natural human condition such as the rich young ruler who rejected the offer of the gospel. The Gospel is only denied if the parents deny the child the forever family offered during the adoption process. I would love to hear your thoughts.
I think your idea that an adoptive child is not forced emotionally to join a family is quite instructive. Within the family of God, this certainly causes problems as Christians never fully come to appreciate the nature of God’s grace and benevolence. Similar to the fact that God wants to be the “Abba,” or Daddy, to whom we scamper to and crawl up in his lap.
I would draw parallels to those (of us) who have been in step family arrangements. You can do all you want for a stepchild, but, at the end of the day…you’re not “really” their parent – and – in a fit of emotion, sadly, that will usually come out.
Excellent post.
-Steve King
http://booksatthebeach.blogspot.com
I agree, there are cases where we try to love, try to call their name and all that is returned is spit on our face. But to be honest, I am very stubborn and don’t give up easily…18 years old is never very far off…
Regardless, I am sure they needed help and no one is there. It is a sad commentary on the people around them that they would not step forward and hold the family up in whatever way was needed so they could get through the crisis.
As an adoptee, I strongly disagree. Adoption is an action on the part of the parents; the actions of an adopted child no more make the adoption fail than the actions of a biological child cancel out their birth.
Billy, I think your comment is fair. I am wondering how old you were when you were adopted. I have adopted older children and we had to have their consent to legally adopt them. In that case, I say that it involves both parties. So it is with our spiritual adoption by God. It is made available to us by God (the adoptive Father) but we (the adoptees) have to accept this free gift. That is my take. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment. Blessings